things #1
iPhone button, Faust, and Tony Soprano Eating
This is the series where I talk about something of personal interest with you guys. Each week I’ll talk about 3 things in the hope that you too find the same experience that I had – or at least in the hope that you are entertained.
The button on the iPhone
I fucking love the button on the iPhone. And this is not some phantasy I’ve conjured for myself via some ode to nostalgia. No. I genuinely love the feel and click of the button on the iPhone. I love it so much so that I have never upgraded since they’ve removed it.
People see my little phone, with its clicky button and downgraded features, and they laugh at me.
Laugh at me they do.
Just the other day a girl I was talking to giggled at the miniscularity of my mobile device. It felt like someone was laughing at the size of my penis.
I was emasculated and saddened.
But my love for this wonderful bit of technology is so pure, so true, that I push through the hardships of reality. I give my sweet partner my dignity, for anything is liable to the chopping block when love is at stake.
And I find anyone who prefers the purely digital interface of a buttonless phone to be a disciple of Babylonian Gods seeking to bring ruin to God’s world. Cus all models of iPhone after the 8 (excluding the SE), are just expansions of mans detachment from the beauty of nature’s perfect imperfection.
Tis unnatural that one not press a button. Non-button transmissions are what crosses the threshold from engineering genius into magic.
And magic is not kool. Unless ur a magician. Then its okay.
Faust (The Opera)
Guys, if u can go to the opera, please watch this. Goethe (who is the fucking Goat) was a genius in his creation of the tragedy of Faust. A play that I have not seen. But I just know, I know, deep in my soul, that such a story is perfected through Gounod’s Opera.
This story is just the most splendid mixture of religion, greed, love, morality, beauty, tragedy, redemption. It has everything and somehow it does not feel like it loses itself. Somehow it balances all these elements into a most sublime concoction, palatable through the primal yet sophisticated medium of Opera.
And if you are unaware of the story of Faust, I plead you to find out his story. It will only spark desire and imagination within your soul. And then such desire must be fulfilled, for desire is relentless within the psyche.
And my entire experience of watching the Grand Opera was splendid. I managed to procure a fantastic ticket at the RBO on opening night, which was no feat of luck.
Twas providence.
And watching the Opera itself requires no explanation – the sublime remains the sublime. Tis devoid of explainability due to its pure primal essence.
This sublime state of affairs was only compounded by a fantastic rarity that occurred within the 5th act. Here the ballet sequence commenced, where Hell was portrayed as a funhouse of horrors. Such a portrayal is most fitting. For the height of torture is not pain, but converting one’s joys into horrors. And in the ballet sequence, the harmonic elegance of ballet is perverted with scenes of a pregnant woman being raped via dance.
Will I expand on this. No.
But this ballet sequence was not only a fantastic artistic piece. Twas also something that is usually omitted from the Opera, and so I was blessed to be able to see it, for few others have been able to witness such splendour.
And during the intermission, I head down to see a friend of mine and her parents, who she has taken to see the Opera. And on my way there I experienced two wonderful things.
One was being huddled together with various other people walking out of the theatre. Perhaps it is because I grew up in a city, but I simply love the feeling of becoming encapsulated with other people. It feels like society proper. It feels like within a crowd one has the unique ability to completely relax, and in this everyone finds themselves relaxing among the crowd. The crowd itself becomes a secret vehicle for people to express themselves.
But the second wonderful thing was what happened in the crowd. A short, drunk and slightly pink older man was talking to his lady friend who had accompanied him to the opera.
And in his tipsy state, he gleefully told his partner,
“The new addition playing Marguerite is simply splendid is she not? Her voice and features are befitting to the aura of holiness that surrounds Marguerite”
Of course I paraphrase, but it went along the lines of that. And it was such a beautiful statement that one could just say out in the open in such a nonchalant manner.
But he was completely right, Carolina López Moreno, who played Marguerite, poured her entire god given beauty into this role. And such sacrifice is befitting to the magisterial nature of the devout Marguerite - a character who very much resembles Beatrice, the physical embodiment of a beatific vision in Dante’s Divine Comedy.
And her humility in this role became fulfilled, when during her ovation, she collapsed in joy to what she had accomplished. In a way, like Marguerite, she had achieved her own earthly beatific vision.
But yeah, shit is goated, U should watch. But like, my viewing experience was better than urs.
Tony Soprano Eating
If u haven’t seen The Sopranos, then u should. Shit is goated. But one of my fav things from the show, was the way Tony Soprano would eat pasta.
He would attack the plate in such a furiously civilised manner that you would find yourself both amused and perplexed.
Like he would constantly twirl and dip his fork as if he was illustrating the plate. It would just be so aggressive and he would never eat the fruits of his own tiresome labour.
I mean, I understand the schematics of eating scenes, and why it’s difficult for actors to actually eat the food in scenes. But like James Gandolfini did it in such a gauche manner as to not eat the food, that it may have actually worked. I think?
Like Tony is just such a fucked up aggressive guy, so why wouldn’t he just molest his food with his utensils? And I guess James knew this, so it stuck. But like its so obvious that Tony never eats the food, he’s just playing with it in a bullyish manner.
Yet I have no problem with this. In fact I really like it. It very much tingles my tingle sensors.
So yeah, that’s this weeks edition of things. Stay tuned till next week for - wait for it - more things. That’s right guys, I’m gonna talk about more things. And then the next week after that. [Pause and think]. Yes that’s correct, more things will be discussed.
Cus at the end of the day, I like things, and I like to talk about things.
I like this
Hello fellow iPhone SE user